Saturday, April 15, 2006

I'm trying to remember why exactly I was so eager to acquire employment. Oh, right, the dwindling bank balance... If only work didn't interfere so much with my life--it's really quite vexing. And despite working in the same building--within winking distance--of my dear husband, the time we have together has shrunk to car rides and sleep. Perhaps because of this I find myself growing even more affectionate towards him (ah, absence), although I think it also has something to do with reading the much-maligned Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

Yes, I was a scoffer too, but the book's got merit! Even Odious agreed that there was something to it, though he complained about the generalization. Unfortunately such books require a certain degree of generalization, and in this case John Gray, PhD, has gotten pretty close to the mark. His analogy of Martians and Venusians quickly ceases to amuse, but there is much within this book that I found helpful and enlightening. It gave me a little window into the male psyche (don't worry, guys, just a little one!) that has been tremendously freeing. Because I understand his reactions and intentions better, I can stop worrying about whether or not he's okay and just enjoy the fact that I have a fantastic husband who does laundry and dishes without being asked as long as he's allowed to play computer games!

I think the most interesting thing to me was the realization that relationships got difficult right around the time the word "relationship" started to mean something. Marriage as a friendship and partnership is a wonderful development for which I am truly grateful, yet it carries a myriad of problems. Men and women now seem to rely on each other for everything, which can be trying because of our differences. Communities and families have changed so that a husband and wife are expected to provide support of all kinds for each other, and sometimes it doesn't work out so well because we don't understand each other. While appreciating "relationships", we need also to seek out other supports as well as learning more about the differences between men and women. So, if you can get past the shame of carrying this book up to the counter of Barnes and Noble or your local library, I do recommend it--the guy's got some decent ideas.

1 comment:

Kermit & Electra said...

Hi, Kate! Another recommendation (of one of those books you thought only self-conscious people unlike me read):
Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend.